Dating Chronicles: ‘The Blow Off’



It always amazes me the quality of men out there – and not in a good way. You’d think I’ve been jaded with all of my pessimistic  relationship posts. Maybe I have become slightly jaded thinking the glass is always half empty. I’m ready for someone to fill up my cup and prove me wrong! I’m told it’s the Toronto way. I dated a guy for a little while…. It was nothing serious…. We went to few restaurants together…. I had met his friends and even chilled at his house a few times. We had even gotten to the stage where we would talk on the phone…I mean how 90’s of us?

Time went on and he took a new position in his job requiring him to work more hours. I rarely saw him as it was due to a conflicting work schedule. Then one evening we had a 2 hour phone call. Guess what happened next?… NOTHING. That’s right. That was the last time I heard from him. No text. No phone call. No snap chats. It was like he had disappeared into thin air. Uncertain as to why he dropped off of the face of the earth, I reached out and sent a text message. Maybe his phone was stolen or he was hit by a car? We do live in a big city and crazier things have happened. He responded and we chatted  back and forth but again the conversation fizzed out with him once again going MIA.

Here’s the dilemma – if it’s not serious between the person you’re seeing, at what point does the other person deserve an explanation for the cold shoulder? Clearly he’s not into it or is too busy to continue on with whatever was going on…which is 100% totally cool may I add. That being said after 5-6 weeks of talking, would’ve been too much to ask for a reason why the sudden silence? Now clearly I didn’t care enough to ask him why but also clearly it has bothered me enough to write a blog post  about it.  When I confided in my girlfriend, she mentioned to me that it is the “Toronto Way”. There is a good chance I won’t ever run into this person ever again because the city is so large. Now that being said, we hang out in the same area so potentially there could be an awkward run in some day.

I hate to harp on Toronto…but this city is so cold when it comes to dating. We date and date and date until we find that ‘perfect’ person who then becomes replaced with an even better person. I’m guilty of doing this as well but at least I offer up an explanation to the previous person if I feel the connection just isn’t going anywhere.

The Blow Off

The Blow Off

I’m implementing a new dating rule for myself and hopefully any other individuals who follow the blog and are involved in the jungle of a dating world we call Toronto. I’m calling it: “The Blow Off“. If you’ve been seeing someone at least 3 times and feel the connection is a bust or the relationship is hitting a dead end, there has to be some kind of communication as to why the it has to end. Most of us are adults enough to handle the rejection. It’s childish just to just disappear.

Here are some good ways to let the person down gently:

  1. I’m not at the place right now to be in a relationship. I think you might be looking for something I just can’t give right now
  2. You’re an amazing person but I don’t feel the connection with you. The chemistry is just not there
  3. I’ve met someone and I’m going to give it a fair shot. You’re great though and I know you’ll be scooped up by someone awesome
  4. I think we’d be better off as  friends – aka ‘The Friend Zone’ Excuse
  5. I’m really sorry but I just don’t have the time right now to commit to anything serious
I feel like damn Adele.

I feel like damn Adele.

Now some of these may sound like bullshit excuses and realistically they are but that being said, it’s a hell of a lot better than saying nothing at all. Cowards say nothing at all. Real men and women own up and either A) tell the truth  or B) make up an excuse to let the person down easy. Toronto –  I love you and you only feed me with more and more ridiculousness when it comes to the search of true love.



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