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Sex on the 3rd Date?

Sex

Sex

SEX. This is a sticky subject….mind the pun. For some of us we look at the act of sex in a more casual light. A few drinks and a cute smile and we are hopping in the sack with a guy. There is nothing wrong with this and if that floats your boat than by all means get it on and set sail girl. Some of us prefer to be in a relationship before we get ‘er done. The question here.. and indeed, I am asking the question.. IS when is it okay to have sex with someone? I ask this because despite the countless Google searches, relationship books, sex columns, talks with straight guy friends, and arguments with fellow single girlfriends, I have yet to come to a conclusion.

I believe it is something that is a self preference. But is it true that if you sleep with a man too soon, it will ruin your chances at a serious relationship? I remember telling my girlfriend – “You have to wait at least 5 dates”. She slept with her now husband after the second date and is having her second child. Good thing you didn’t take my advice girl. I could’ve really messed up your chances there.

I was raised by several strong women- primarily my aunts who told me that giving up the goods too soon would make me a floozy. This makes sense somewhat. Make a man wait and he will want you even more. After all it is all about the chase isn’t it? But really is holding out a smart way to start a relationship? Sure it will give you some power as leverage but is it going to be a healthy relationship from the get go if sex is being held over a partner’s head?

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My girlfriend recently was dating a guy who said that the timeframe doesn’t matter whatsoever. I’m sure this douchey guy wanted to get into her pants the sooner the better, but he did raise a good point. He stated that a man will hold out for sex but it doesn’t matter on the timing. If you sleep with him on day one, he will date you if he wants to date you. Waiting for the 5th or 6th date doesn’t matter and once you put out, he will hit the road if he’s not into you.

I think we take this on a case by case basis folks…

Food for thought. Maybe it’s not so black and white? Comment. GO.

Discussion

3 Responses to “Sex on the 3rd Date?”

  1. I think as a woman, we should be able to have sex whenever we want and not be considered scandalous. It’s ridiculous the double standard that goes with sex nowadays. I also think that a woman should hold out somewhat. Make him work for the goods. It’s the respectable thing to do.

    Posted by Katie | September 16, 2013, 6:01 pm
  2. I agree with everything you said. The only thing I feel is missing is age….obviously girls are having sex a bit younger then maybe we did as teens or young adults. Personally I haven’t changed my opinion much since ‘growing up’…giving it up quickly is not something I am comfortable with. That said, I have been with my now husband for 14 years. We started dating when we were 15 and did the deed after a year of dating. That can still be thought of as young. Now I have a much older friend who had a similar situation felt the same way about sex, then got a divorce and re-entered the dating scene, and is comfortable enough with her body and sexuality to enjoy a casual sexual relationship. A really feel it has a lot to do with how you value yourself. Does he deserve what your giving? Keep in mind I am raising 3 daughters and a son…..although they are young I need to be prepared when the time comes for these conversations! It’s definitely no black and white….great perspective Erin!

    Posted by Candace | September 17, 2013, 3:55 pm
    • My thoughts exactly. Sex is completely different from a 15 year olds perspective – and if not then that teenager needs a good discussion with his or her parent or guardian. We after all are living in a time where Miley Cyrus used to be cute Hannah Montana and is now dry humping foam fingers and men twice her age on award shows. I’m by no means blaming her…I just think times are different. And Candace…3 precious girls and a sweet baby boy…you go mama! Much love to you and yours 😉

      Posted by collegestreetcloset | September 17, 2013, 6:26 pm

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